This review is lovingly subtitled, “Never Discuss Babies Mid-Cloitus,”
a guest post by Alice Black.
Review: Do you seriously care about spoilers?
So I look at this cover and I think, “OK brooding, pointy-eared man, you’re not half bad. The stars where you’re at are super sparkly, and that is the biggest fucking moon I have ever seen, but at least your face isn’t cut off at the chin.”
For me, this is a good start.
Dark Wolf Rising is a Harlequin book from their Nocturne line, so that means I have some expectations.
- It’s going to be professionally edited, formatted, and covered. Or at least 2 out of 3.
- It will feature an Alpha hero that I will probably want to stab in the dick.
- It will have a “strong” heroine that I will probably want to punch in the boob.
Overall, I like Harlequin’s Nocturne stuff, so I’m thinking, “Hell yeah, I’m gonna read me some shifter hotness.”
I don’t remember buying this book, and I expect I got it on one of those free/cheap deal days (Note: As of writing this post, it is still free on Amazon). But here I am about to read it and oh-my-gawd-it’s-a-series. Is anyone surprised? No, of course not, because everything is a goddamn series. Dark Wolf Rising is Book #4 of the Bloodrunners series, and I haven’t read any of the previous ones. This upsets me as I like to start from the beginning, get in a little foreplay, before moving toward the climax.
Whatever though, let’s jump into bed with this thing without thinking any more about why we shouldn’t.
First, you don’t need to have read any of the previous books. I’m sure they provide context for some of the other couples in the series, but Eric and Chelsea’s story works on its own. I would talk about the plot, but it’s merely a vehicle to take the reader from one sex scene to another. It’s like riding an old, rusted-out Mustang: a little broken, but with enough sexy VROOM to make the ride worthwhile.
That was a terrible metaphor. Bottom line, the sex is hot. Ignore the plot.
I killed this book in maybe 24 hours, maybe less, with breaks to sleep and watch porn. It’s a fast, fun read. Don’t over-think things, as you’ll just hurt yourself. The writing is clean and easy. Really, this book provided everything I expected (and wanted) in a trashy romance read. I’m a fan.
Here are some important life lessons Dark Wolf Rising taught me:
- Every time I fail to listen to my man (even if he is an arrogant stranger in the mountains), I will find myself in deep shit–potentially raped by a rival werewolf pack.
- I will require my man to rescue me, until the pivotal moment when I must prove how “strong” I am.
- Even if I am a horrible man-hater, the right Alpha cock will fix me.
- And most importantly, the best time to have a discussion on making babies with your man is RIGHT BEFORE CLIMAX. This will ensure you make the most mature, level-headed, unemotional decision possible about bringing another life into this universe.
Look, this was free and fun and despite my poking fun, I enjoyed the shit out of it. Don’t judge me.
If you are seeking an escapist romance that will let your mind take a break and enjoy the Mustang-ride, I recommend Dark Wolf Rising for all your sexy needs.
Weird Genitalia Metaphor Count: 1: “his hot, massive staff” (Only 1? Alice is impressed.)
Words Alice Hates Count: 0 (Alice is doubly impressed!)
Blurb from GoodReads:
Eric Drake, a powerful Dark Wolf, has never trusted himself around human females-preferring to mate only within his pack. That is, until he encounters Chelsea Smart snooping around Silvercrest pack land in search of her missing sister. Secretly, Chelsea thinks Eric is the sexiest man she’s ever seen, though she is wary of his potent Alpha energy. Then it’s discovered that Chelsea’s sister is being held by a pack of vicious Lycans, and Eric heroically leaps into action. Now, Chelsea will risk everything-her body and soul-to surrender to the passion that will mark her as Eric’s woman for all eternity…if they survive.